Expressions of Love
by She's a Star
Summary: Love makes you do the wacky. Ron and Hermione just wish they didn't have to witness aforementioned wacky.


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Expressions of Love

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by She's a Star

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Disclaimer: Harry Potter is J.K. Rowling's. If it was mine, it'd be much more . . . weird. Yep. Weird.

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Author's Note: Crys (PepsiAngel) gave me this challenge, and though it's quite short and pointless, I thought I'd post it because, well, posting's just what I do. :)

The challenge was:

Corset. Subtle. Repulsive. Parvati and Lavender.

And now, the fic! (How magnificent.)

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"Bloody hell," Ron muttered, horror written all over his face. "That's . . . that's right repulsive, that is."

"Really, Ron," Hermione chided lightly. "It's not . . . that bad."

Though she was attempting to be mature and respectful, it was clear from her expression that she would like nothing more than to throw her hands over her face and hum loudly so as to be rid of the entire scene.

"He could try to be at least a little bit subtle," Ron argued. "I mean, so he fancies her. Big deal. We've all figured it out by now. But . . . does he have to do . . . _that_?"

"Maybe he feels that . . . that is the only way he can express his emotions," Hermione said delicately, staring a bit to the left of the gruesome scene.

"Ugh! He's gone completely daft if . . . if _this_ is all he could think of," Ron proclaimed, still looking as though he were about to hurl. "I mean, _really_, Hermione-- have you _ever_ seen anything more . . ."

"No," Hermione admitted, shaking her head dazedly. "No, I honestly haven't . . ."

In truth, even Dudley Dursley in a corset would have been a more welcome sight.

Ron and Hermione were so lost in the horror of it all that they didn't notice Parvati Patil and Lavender Brown approach. Their presence went entirely unnoticed until Parvati sighed and proclaimed, "That's _so_ romantic."

Hermione and Ron both turned and stared at Parvati incredulously.

"What?" Ron asked, clearly shocked.

" . . . Romantic?" Hermione repeated weakly.

"It _is_," Lavender agreed, staring dreamily at the scene. "I wish that Seamus would do that to me."

"I wish that _anyone_ would do that to me," Parvati breathed.

She glanced at Ron.

"What??" Ron cried, anguished. "Oh, no! You're off your rocker if you even think . . . there's no way in _hell_--"

Hermione's eyes were suddenly alight with something that eerily resembled . . . jealousy.

"Yes, that's right," she cut in crisply, glaring at Parvati. "Ron would never do such a thing. And if he did, it certainly wouldn't be to _you_." She paused, then turned to Ron. "Would it?"

"No!" Ron said, looking disgusted at the very thought.

Satisfied, Hermione turned back to Parvati. "See?"

"Oh, come on, Hermione," Lavender said, giggling. "You mean that you don't think it's even a _little_ sweet?"

"Sweet??" Hermione repeated. "It's . . . it's . . .do you really think I want to see _Harry_ doing that?"

"You don't think he's even a little bit cute?" Lavender pressed.

"No, she bloody well doesn't!" Ron said sharply, then turned to Hermione after a moment. "Er. Do you?"

"Of course not," Hermione replied.

"Right. Excellent," Ron said, looking a bit sheepish, and his eyes wandered back over to the horrifying scene. He immediately glanced away. "Argh! Why is Harry _doing_ that? And to my _sister_, no less."

"Well, Ron," Hermione said, staring fixedly at her feet, "I suppose when you love someone very much, you just . . ."

"I dunno," Ron replied, faint traces of disgust still apparent in his tone. "I'm not sure I'd ever do that. Not even for . . ." His ears went red, and he fell silent. "Er," he said after a moment, "certain people."

Hermione smiled a little to herself, and continued looking at her shoes.

"Oooh!"

Lavender's delighted squeal managed to rather thoroughly extinguish the moment.

Ron and Hermione looked up simultaneously and were relieved to see that Harry's mad act of love had finished. He and Ginny were now grinning at each other, clearly smitten.

"Ginny's so lucky," Lavender proclaimed.

"I know," Parvati agreed, sighing. "I would give _anything_ for a boy to do that for me in front of everyone in the Gryffindor common room."

"I just wish Seamus would serenade _me_ with Spell Upon My Heart," proclaimed Lavender wistfully. "_With_ matching dance moves."

"Hermione," Ron said after glancing at them in a way that expressed that he considered them to be deeply, deeply mad, "I'm glad that you're not like other girls."

"And I'm glad that you're not like Harry," Hermione replied.

The two exchanged a smile, and Hermione stepped a little closer to him.

"Ron," she said quietly, "I--"

"Ron, get up. Quidditch practice."

Ron opened his eyes to see Harry standing above him, already fully dressed.

"Oh," Ron said dazedly. "Right."

He found that he couldn't look at his best friend without being attacked by the mental image of him tap-dancing around the Gryffindor sofa while crooning, _"Ooooohhhh, you've put a spell on my heart, baby!"_

Men, as a rule, should not have been allowed to sing Celestina Warbeck.

"Ron, are you okay?" Harry asked, frowning a little.

"Harry, do you fancy Ginny?" Ron blurted out.

Harry immediately looked a bit uncomfortable. "Why would you think that?"

"Er," Ron said awkwardly. "No reason."

"She's . . . nice," Harry said, nervously running a hand through his hair.

"But you wouldn't, you know, serenade her in front of the whole Gryffindor Common Room while performing accompanying dance steps, would you?" Ron inquired.

Harry stared.

"Right, then," Ron said, feeling immensely relieved. "Quidditch practice."

He climbed out of bed and went into the bathroom, leaving Harry to stand alone in the middle of the dormitory.

". . . dance steps?" he echoed, bewildered.

END


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